Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Jovan

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock Who's there? Eric, your old high school pal! Eric, you slept with my wife 3 years ago. You have her, please stop coming to my door and please stop saying your my pal. Pals don't sleep with other guys' wives.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the young child dead in the middle of the road? His mother wasn't there to prevent him from chasing the ball across the road, and therefore, he ran in front of a truck

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

thumb_up thumb_down -25

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

My captcha thing says "hulk smash" lol bahahahahahahaha, k

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man move away from me because he thought that i had crabs as pets

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops