One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a prison. A gang stopped them, and said: Hey, want to play a game? Before they could run away, the gang leader told them the rules. You go over there and stand by the wall. You close your eyes, and then we fire a shotgun in your direction. The last one alive wins. They push the brunette onto the wall. She closes her eyes because she knows she's about to die and doesn't want her friends to see her crying. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. They decide it's the redhead's turn next. They move her onto the wall. Being the brightest one in the bunch, she tries to keep her eyes open. However, she blinks. The gun goes off, and she falls to the ground, dead. They pull away her dead body. Then the blonde bursts out laughing. "Your friends are dead. And you're about to die. Do you find that funny?" They ask. She answers. "No. It's just- I won the game!"

Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

A girl hands her boyfriend her phone and says it's his dad. He throws it on the ground exclaiming, "My dad's not a phone, duh!"

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

A man is pulled over for drunk driving, and is asked to say the alphabet backwards. When requested to do so, the man says, "officer, I can't even do that when I'm sober," thus admitting that he is drunk. The police officer chuckles at the drunk man's stupidity, and wonders whether or not his wife would find the incident funny. After all, they do share a similar sense of humor.

2 people lived next door to each other. The man said "hi" and so did the other man. What is wrong with this situation. Nothing, just friendly neighbors.

What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

Why did the war end? Because one country surrendered. They were getting beat pretty bad, it seemed like the only viable option.

What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Nobody cares maddie!

i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

What did the dog say to the human? Nothing really. Dogs technically "speak" through barking.

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

good looking women

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have 2 legs

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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