whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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god sent down his only son, " his only son." so in gods eyes we are a bunch of girls.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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Two muffins are sitting on a counter. One muffin says to the other "hello." The other muffin says "Oh my god a talking muffin!"

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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What did the boy say after he fell out of the tree? Nothing, he died.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What do you call a black man at school the janitor

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So this man is walking down the street. Just walking. Nothing wrong. Suddenly a giant whirlpool appears in the street. The man is sucked in and the whirlpool disappears. Everything's fine right? Right? Yeah, he wanted to die. So every things okay? NOPE. He left the oven on.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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