Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

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Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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