How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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What is the best thing the French ever invent The two piece

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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what did Harold Camping say to the little girl and boy? "You and your parents are going to die today"

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Q:What is the difference between a Blonde and a Ginger? A: Hair Color

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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What's worse than a spilled ice cream cone? 2 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 2 spilled ice cream cones? 3 spilled ice cream cones. What's worse than 3 spilled I've cream cones? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? 4 spilled ice cream cones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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A raptor and a Tyrannosaurus Rex walk into a bar. Everyone runs for their lives as the dinosaurs ate everyone who was too slow.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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knock knock who's there? your mom your mom who? I'm sorry to tell your mom is dead :.(

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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The queen having a shit

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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Roses are red Im adopted

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Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no possible way for humans and chickens to communicate with each other. Therefore we cannot know.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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An american family is picknicking on the bottom of the ocean. They are eating french fries, big mac's, chicken mc nuggets and drinking coca cola, some slurpies too, all purchased at the local mac donalds near lyndon blvd, in chevy chase near that weird house with the toothless lady that always smiles and then all of a sudden frowns at you, often wearing either a dark green or mint green dress. Spongebob squarepants comes drifting by dead in circular pants and little Sally, their youngest daughter asks a question, which cannot be heard because they're underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops