Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner, Dead.

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What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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A chinese man walks into a kitten store. He is a nice man in search of a companion.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Why did the man say "huh?" Because he didn't hear what they said.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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