Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Two dinosaurs go to a theme park. On the way home they contemplate that they didn't really enjoy themselves. They decide to buy some ice cream to cheer them up a bit. They are severely frustrated by the lack of fun they had for the money they paid. Then they go to sleep. I completely forgot how this joke went, but your mom's a slut.

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What is orange and annoying? A purple potato.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

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knock knock? come in

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A Refrigerator

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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