why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock Who did that?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?! No one... pineapples float.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between Tom and Jerry? One is a cat, and the other is a mouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the best way to get high without doing drugs? Jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken a month off from working in their law firm. The mexican man, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. Alex, however never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops