i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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When Chuck Norris plays Modern Warfare 2, he gets more care packages than Haiti did.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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ert

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I walk into a bar...

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Why is there a corpse in this TV box? Bob was never a great skydiver.

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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