How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

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A guy walks into a bar, unfortunately for him, he walked in on a huge bar fight and managed to get the hell knocked out of him as he entered the door.

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why did the guy die? because he got hit by a train. lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot was a potato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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where did little Suzie go after the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Why did the little boy want to sleep with his parents in their bed on the only night in weeks they'd planned to have sex? His bedroom was on fire.

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wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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What do you call a KKK member? ...racist

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops