Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

A black man killed someone

Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

Roses are read Violets are not green Chicken is good KFC baby, time to get lean

What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

Wana hear something dirty? Mud

Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

What's worse than 10 babies in one bin? 1 baby in 10 bins.

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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