Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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How do you kill a blonde? I don't. Murder is a crime.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

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a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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8=>

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Wana hear something dirty? Mud

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What is the difference between a joke and an antijoke? An antijoke does not have a punch line.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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A kid is Jackin off and his dad walks in and says if you keep jackin off you will loose your sight. the kid says dad im over here.

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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