Chuck Norris walks into a bar. Someone asks for his autograph to which he replies. "Sure"

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

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Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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Hi my name is Bob

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What did the man say to the other man? yummmmm

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What's in there? Get outta there...

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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I have no joke. u mad?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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a tiger swims into the indian ocen and eats a tuna. the tiger shortly dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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