If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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17 people are eating doritos in a cafeteria. Then, one gets up and throws their bag away. Then the joke ended. Haha it actually didn't.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

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I can't see my forehead

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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why did the blond cross the road? she doesnt know either

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Giant Panda that has been killed by poachers.

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

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Yo mamma is so hairy that she had to shave

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

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why did the chicken cross the road

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Aodhan Hearty

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Austin. kid with long hair, sat next to paymon who had short hair. "Go cut ur hair." "ok"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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