How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Why don't seagulls live in the bay? Because then they'd be bagels

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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Whats big, hairy, and super long? My big toe you pervert.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe he woke with a fright, in the middle of the night and then went back to sleep

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What do you get when you give a homeless man a sandwich? It thrown at the back of your head.

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Shit.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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why was little tommy thirsty? because he had juvenile diobetese

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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A baby seal walks into a club

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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