My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

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What did the women get after valentines day? An abortion.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

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why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

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What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? There are more birds on that side

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How do you get a black man out of your seat? You ask him very nicely with a great attitude.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

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Why did the asian man go to the bar with a black man? Because they both wanted to enjoy a few beers in the company of another.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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