Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the man think inside of the box? Because he was inside of the box.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bucket of chicken? A lot.

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If you're having girl problems, I feel bad for you, son... Because I can empathise with you, and it's not a very nice situation to be in. Hope you work it out.

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There was once a boy named Aladin. He was very poor until he found a magic lamp. When he rubbed the lamp, a genie poped out of the lamp. He said... "I will grant you one wish, master" Aladin thought about this for a long time, until eventually he said... "I wish for all the chocolate in the world" "Very well, master" And the genie granted his wish and Aladin had all the chocolate in the world Unfortunately, because he ate so much chocolate, Aladin died of heart & liver failure

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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a morman walks into a bar, he buys a 7up.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on.

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Max Head fingered himself, HAH

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

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Your Mamma So Fat The Old Thing That Block's Her From Destroying Kid's Party's Is The Front Door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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