A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE HERE'S A KNIFE KILL YOURSELF KANE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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Why did the Muslim man burn the American flag? The flag had touched the ground, which, by tradition, means it has to be disposed. And the proper way of disposing it is by burning.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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