Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why can't you lie to atoms? Because they make up everything!

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Q:What did Batman say to Robin just before they got into the Batmobile? A:"Robin get in the Batmobile"

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Why was six afraid of seven? Six had severe paranoia.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops