Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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What did the cheerleader get for christmas? Money, because she's a stupid w hore

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why couldn't John play soccer? Because he was arrested for being black.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Q. How do you kill 5000 flies? A. Slap a afraican in the face.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and so am i

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Did you know that... Billy had a heart attack, it was sad. Now you know!

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What dosent kill you only makes you injured

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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how do you get an old man to fall? tip over his wheelchair

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops