A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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Why was 95 lb jack able to chug so fast? Because he is a diabetic

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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A: How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Q: None! They shouldn't have to...

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why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

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What did Harry Potter say when he lost his wand? Where's my wand?

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops