once i was a dog and u were a flower........... i raised my leg and gave u a shower :)

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Q: Whats red and not a penis A: A lot of things

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Rose are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, Now so do you.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Why was Timmy strong? Because his dad injected steroids through his asshole.

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What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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How do get a cat to like you? Give it lots of love and attention

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

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Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops