Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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knock knock? come in

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Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

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Roses are Black Violets are black I am colorblind, are you to?

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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knock knock who's there funny funny who a funny joke

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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