How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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Yo dawg, I heard you like cars. Thats cool, whats your favorite one?

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what is the difference between a picture of brooklyn decker and my grandma....i jack off to the picture of my grandma

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Why did you cross the road. You didn't your looking at this joke

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops