That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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quantum physics?

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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Why's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding a golden ticket

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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What Do You Call a Hawk in Virginia? A Hawk What Do you Call a Hawk that lives in Virginia? Virginan Hawk

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Is your refrigerator running? No.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops