How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs in the water? Bob What do you call that same kid when he's at your doorstep? Matt What do you call that same kid when he's hanging in your room? I don't know, but you should stop calling him names.

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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whats green and lives in the water

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops