So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why does the pie have apples in it? it was apple pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops