My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

What do you call a fat computer? Adele :)

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? ouch.

What does the hulk do when he's angry? Compulsively masturbate.

How do you stop a lawn mower? You throw a baby under it.

Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van.

What's worse then Justin Bieber? 9-11

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger....... unless it is a nonkiller disease that makes you extremely weak :D

Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

what has 8 legs, is brown, and will bite you? my crap

What did the black father get his child for Christmas? A Yo-Yo. Actually, never-mind, he doesn't know his father.

Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

Your mom is so stupid that she was unable to make it into the college of her choice.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Certainly not to have its motives questioned!

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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