what happens when you shoot a piece of soup It dies

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A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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What is a turkey? The offspring of a turtle and a monkey.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They have drinks, pay for them, then get into a car crash killing a mom and her daughter returning home from selecting a wedding dress. The wedding is canceled. Rate This Comment 0

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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yo mama's so fat because when women are pregnet thay gain weight for there child to feed on

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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Why are black people good at basketball? Because they practice.

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How do you get out of a car with only a baseball bat and a hammer? Unlock the door.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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