When is the right time to have sex with a 16 year old? After consent from her parents

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot. What are you, racist?

Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

Knock Knock Come in.

Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

Your mother is so fat, she spends all day in her bedroom, eating chocolate and crying herself to sleep.

A dyslexic man sells his soul to Santa.

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was A bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy went through chemo. Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy was he?

I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

Why did the chicken cross the road Banana

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

What did the bullied schoolboy do when he got home from school? He cried himself to sleep.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...