What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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A joke

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What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

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who just made fun of katie matt

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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what is one black person on the moon? Anser: a problem What is all the black peaple on the moon...... a solution.

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What do apples taste like? Apples.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Is Carly smart? No.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Global Warming.

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

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Why do mermaids where seashells on their breasts? They don't wear anything because mermaids don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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