What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What’s the difference between Cool and Kool, the way you spell it

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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Are you a homophobe? No I'm straight. ,.

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A man and his son are in a store, the man says to his son, "That candy bar has your name on it." The son replies, "I wish that you didn't name me Butterfingers." The dad answers, "I wish that you were never born."

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? As much as it is capable of. Personally depends on the weight of the wood.

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what's the difference between babies and a trampoline? I take my shoes off to jump on a trampoline.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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You.

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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what happened to the man who ran straight into a brick wall he bounced off it, fell back, stumbled. he lifted his head up, looked at it, put his arm to his head. got up, groaned, dusted himself down, and walked towards the pub.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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Thumbs this up

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9/11 was a shocking time for all of us.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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