Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

Three blondes were stuck on an island, one of them wished for a motorboat, later on they all died of starvation

A women gets on a bus, the bus driver says 'that is the ugliest baby i have ever seen!' the women pays for her ticket and sits on one of the seats while the bus pulls off.

AND

Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

Q. What do you call a bear ripping a man to pieces? A. A bear.

why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

penis

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

A man walks into a bar. Itwas an metal bar so the man was hurt.

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

Hey I just met you I'm on bathsalts your face looks tasty

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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