Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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What happened to the vegetarian when he tried outdoor survival He died due to lack of energy because of his refusal to eat meat and or any living substance

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Knock, Knock Wh- SWAT TEAM GET ON THE F****** GROUND!!!!!!!

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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What's black and white and red all over? The Nazi Flag in WW II

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

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What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are on a cruise together. A horrifying accident occurs, sinking the boat and killing all of them. Their deaths are mourned by their respective family members.

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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A boy spilt his milk on the floor, and then cleaned it up before his mum got home.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What is the difference between a pizza and ten dead babies? I dont have a pizza in my oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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