Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops