What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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Jovan

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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What do you get if you put 2 Korea, 2 Europeans and 2 North Americans together? TSM

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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What do boats and starving children have in common? They both float, except for the starving children.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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why did the chicken cross the street dude get your facts right it is the road ok well why did the chicken cross the street LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Give one reason for not visiting a hotel. Basil Fawlty is the manager.

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Wife: Does this make me look fat? Husband: Honey, your already fat.

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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