Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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knock knock

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Who, what, when, why, how, where, and which? Your Honor, i think my client would like to plead guilty.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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What's white and red all over? A white guy who walked in the ghetto.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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A blonde dies Lololol

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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