I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Shltskc gw? G

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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