I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

thumb_up thumb_down -46

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -48

50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Ps: Its "Cain" again, just for matters of security here, how did he install power wires under the basement? How are you even able to use your computer over there?

thumb_up thumb_down -50

whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Harry thrust his wand forward, "Expelliarmus!" Voldemort casually ducks, and fires a killing curse at our hero.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian pastry with tomato sauce, cheese and other toppings and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the baby crying? Because it was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's just not right? Left

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I went to school. Then I came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops