Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

No antijoke here.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Want to hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you kill a blind man, run over him in slow motion

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ewrg

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops