What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

Waseem is such a hard worker on Anti Joke all day.

A child rides his bike down the sidewalk and stops at an intersection. He looks both ways, then crosses the road. What was he looking for? His family.

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

How did Bella fly? Very badly.

What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

roses are red poo is poo

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

Why did Jenny cry? Because everyday Jenny is bullied. Jenny cried for this reason, but nothing happened. The bully still bullies her today.

knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

What did Michael jackson say to Abraham Lincoln? Nothing, there are both currently deceased, if they did, however, say something to each other, it would not be in person, because they are both dead.

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What do you call a deer with one eye? Injured.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

21 Ways to Annoy Everybody 1) Pretend to be one of the Bush family. Doesn't matter which. 2) Have an uncontrollable lusting for someone else every five minutes. 3) Pretend to be from different ethnic backgrounds every hour, and when people ask you about it, answer like a hillbilly would. 4) Act like a hillbilly. Period. 5) Improvise Italian operas. 6) Gossip about someone to their face. 7) Answer every question with a question. 8) Repeat yourself constantly. 9) Act like a member of the opposite sex. 10) Repeat yourself constantly. 11) Act like Mr. Flanders from The Simpsons. 12) Repeat yourself constantly. 13) Change what you repeat every now and then. 14) Use homonyms in your e-male that the spell cheque would knot sea as miss steaks. 15) Change what you repeat every now and then. 16) Talk to someone while looking at somebody else. 17) Employ in your casual banter extensive vocabulary that will befuddle thy contemporaries. 18) Change what you repeat every now and then. 19) One word: Caffeine. 20) Another word or two: Caffeine and Sugar. 21) stringwhateveryousayintoonelongwordsoitshardtomakeoutwhatyou'resaying.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...