Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call someone who thinks they're funny but in reality isn't? Adam chapali Knock knock Who's there? NOT adam chapali

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Enough with the gay jokes, they all go one direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was typing a new book today (literature wild west, and I realized I had been writing the same shit over and over again for eight hours and was dead tired when It went so..) Welcome to the wild west, guns! Hayballs! MONSTER TRUCKS! And then I kinda thought to myself... Is it just me or am I trying a bit too hard? So guys? What do you think, am I trying a bit too hard here? Funny story, I am tired and drank lots of coffee, so I am holding back in order to not try so hard... Not trying hard enough to hold back? I am asking you! WHY? BECAUSE YOUR ANSWER DOES NOT MATTER! ARE WE GAME?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding gum on your shoe? Being molested by a sea urchin.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What rhymes with milk...milf

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops