What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What is the difference?

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops