I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why couldn't the old man see the Moon? Because he was blind and it was daytime.

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

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I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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