I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

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A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

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why was six afraid of seven? it's a long story, and six doesn't want to talk about it.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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How do you kill Helen Keller? With a gun.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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