Why did the blonde girl drink lots of water? Because the fat comments got to her and she changed her diet to nothing but water

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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How did the cookie monster die? Diabidies

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Because 6 was registered as a sex offender

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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Cleveland sports, lebron james' ever receding hairline

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A dog is always in the pushup position.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Hi welcome to yack in da box, can i hell you? Yes, could i have a jumbo jack? Jew wanna yumbo yack? Yes.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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