why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Penis

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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