Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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ure mama's so fat

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What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

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what's the funniest joke? wish i knew

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a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

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What do grass and deer have in common? They're both green I lied about the deer

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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Q. Whats the worst soccer team in the world. A. Ass-enal.

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So FDR walks into a bar.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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