What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

Q: What did bulbasoar say to charmander? A: Bet ya thought I was gunna say Bulbasoar!!

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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