Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

Boy: Knock Knock. Man: Who's there? Boy: Doctor. Man: Doctor Who? Boy: Haha! The man then invites the boy into his home, where he gives him a glass of lemonade laced with Ruphalyn. He then proceeds to take off the boy's clothes and rape him. When the boy awakes, the man starts to fear for the police discovering the boy in his home, so he kills the boy and cuts off his limbs and head, and buries the body parts in a hole in his backyard.

Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

Why did the baby cross the road? I don't know but it got hit by a semi during.

Want to know who gets head a lot? Balloons

One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

What is the siilarity between Justin beiber and pinoccio? they both waant to be real boys

What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

Where did Officer Blackman find the missing child? A shallow grave.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

Itookasipasoda

How do you keep a dog from chasing it's tail? cut off it's legs.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? He didn't have any arms.

A Starfish walks into a bar. He sits down next to a man with a concussion. Q: What did the man say? A: Nothing because he was in a concussion and was no longer able to say words.

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming, and felt compelled to get to its family

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...