The Aristocrats

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Global Warming.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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What do u call a black person in your backyard? Mufasa

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Womens Sports

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Justin Bieber had sex with a woman.

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-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

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Religion

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am man walks into a bar, and suffers from brain damage

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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What is worse then failing a test? Cancer

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your spouse is in hospital.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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poop.........

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The mets are 3-0 this season

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Why does six love nine? They both get pleasured

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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