i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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lewis=cardiac

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the person above me ^ lost his virginity to a howler monkey and the person below me was his gay friend untill he found out about his recent run in with a howler monkey and does not wish the same fait as he does.

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Roses-are-red violets-are-blue Justin's-for -me Not-for-u if-by-chance u-take-my-place I'll-grad-fist &-smash-ur-face

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

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Adam Chebali is awesome

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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one stop shop

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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Why did a blond killed herself? She couldnt find a corner in a round room.

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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Why is the beach always so angry? The beach is just sand and waves and lacks sentience, but makes up for it in crabs.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Why was the minority crying? He had something in his eye.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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how do you make a blond girl cry? kill her family

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why did the man reverse time? because his girlfriend died,also this man was super

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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