- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar and is shot in the face

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

my mom texted me telling me that my dog died... then she texted me the letters LOL... i texted back asking wat was funny!? she thought it ment 'lots of love' :p

A man walks into a house, and the next day was taken to the hospital for a minor concussion and a possible vision deficiency.

Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

Why doesn't Lucinda have a penis? Because she's Mexican.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

Oh look, a dead guy. He must have died

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are red I'm colorblind

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why don't women bother to have penises? Because they're lazy and they don't care.

what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops