Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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Sarah Palin.

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Why did the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph? He had one nut

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms knock knock who's there? Not little Suzie.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was very hungrey and saw some seed on the other side.

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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